First looks. Most wedding professionals and couples have strong feeling about this moment of the wedding day. It is one of the main questions I ask couples when we’re planning their timeline and ceremony start time. It will make one of the biggest differences in scheduling. So… let’s talk about it!

What is a first look?

If you’re just starting to plan your wedding, you might be asking… what even IS a first look? A wedding day first look is when partners choose to see each other before the ceremony. Usually, one partner is situated somewhere and the other partner walks up and taps them on the shoulder. Or has them turn around. You can have them cover their eyes. Or some other cute photo op moment. You get it.

Why would couples want to do a first look?

Why would you want to do a first look? To enjoy more of your wedding! If you don’t do a first look, we have to spend the majority of cocktail hour shooting formals. First look means we get most of the photos out of the way pre-ceremony. We will also get more variety in your couples photos.

It also helps relieve jitters. If you’re feeling nervous, a first look will totally put you at ease. You get to share a special moment with your spouse. It’s unfortunately, but a lot of your wedding day is spent apart from your partner. A first look lets you extend your time together.

Why WOULDN’T couples want to do a first look?

Traditionally, the bride and groom were not supposed to see each other before their ceremony on the day of the wedding. It was considered “bad luck”. Which… we all know is a bunch of bullsh**. It was also in case the bride was considered unattractive to the groom in an arranged marriage situation, where the two had never seen each other before… which is also a huge pile of bullsh**.

In modern days, the only real reason is that couples want that fairytale moment where the groom sees the bride for the first time walking down the aisle. Which can be an extremely important moment for many couples. A lot of people have been romanticizing the idea of seeing their partner in their wedding attire for the first time walking down the aisle for their whole lives. So, I don’t mean to undersell it when I say it’s the *only* reason, because it can be something very very important to couples.

My Thoughts on First Looks, as a Wedding Photographer

Straight up, photography runs more smoothly and you get to spend more time with family and friends if you do a first look. That being said, it is YOUR WEDDING and YOUR CHOICE. If you do not want to do a first look, don’t do one! And do not let your photographer or planner or whoever push you into doing one, if you want that aisle moment. It makes basically no difference to ME, as a wedding photographer, whether or not you do a first look. I’ll either take photos before the ceremony or I’ll take them after, but either way, they’re getting done.

The only time I might say to lean into a first look is for Winter weddings. In Austin, it can get dark as early as 5:30 in the Winter. Unless you want your ceremony at 3pm, we’ll really be pushing it to get all of your photos done before sunset. If you are set on no first look, what I’ll typically do is steal the couple away for sunset photos right after the ceremony, then do family and wedding party photos with flashes set up after dark.

One more thing… if you’re looking for that big, genuine, “seeing me for the first time in my dress” reaction… you’re going to get a bigger reaction if you do a first look. You can do a twirl, you can tell each other how amazing you look, he can say how good your butt looks, you can hug and embrace. You can’t do any of that if the first time you see each other is down the aisle.

Private Vow Readings at First Looks

My absolute favorite new wedding tradition is a private vow reading at your first look. It’s such a sweet and personal moment to be able to sit down together and really say heartfelt vows without worrying about performing in front of an audience. If you’re a bit on the shy side or are just nervous, reading vows with just your LOYL present (well, and me haha) is a perfect way to do things. Then, for the actual ceremony, you can let your officiant take the wheel.

Alternatives to a First Look on Your Wedding Day

Okay okay, you heard my spiel, but you also read the big bold line that says it’s YOUR WEDDING and you should do whatever you want. And hey, you really really have been dreaming of that moment of seeing your partner when you two are walking down the aisle, and that’s what you want. Yes, babe. I LOVE a decisive queen. Let’s talk about a few fun alternatives to a first look that make for a special moment and a great photo op.

First Touch instead of First Look

If you don’t want to see each other before the wedding but you DO want to have a special moment and get to talk a little bit, do a first touch! Usually, these are done where the couple stands on either side of a door or around the corner of a building. It will definitely help you get rid of your jitters (and the photos are so cute, duh).

Read a Letter to Each Other

You can also write a letter to your soon-to-be-spouse and read them to each other! I really love when couples do this. Write about your anticipation, how you’re feeling, how excited you are to marry them, a funny memory. It’s another great option to relieve your wedding day jitters.

You could also share a favorite bible verse or do a prayer together, if you don’t want to write a letter.

Pass Him Some Risque Polaroids

I don’t have any photos of this to show, but I’ve been seeing this funny trend on TikTok where the bride takes spicy polaroids and have bridesmaids discretely hand them off to the groom before the wedding. Not really a first look alternative, but still something silly and fun to do before your ceremony :).

Photo Op on the Balcony

If your venue has a balcony and you don’t want to do a first look, I love to steal you away for a photo op! Woodbine Mansion, The Grand Lady, and Barr Mansion all have great balconies for this. One of you is at the top, one of you is at the bottom, and you pretend to look at each other. It’s just cute.

Conclusion…

I hope this post has given you some insight into first looks, from the eyes of an Austin wedding photographer! First looks are great and I do recommend them, but there are lots of other fun things you can do instead. Make your wedding day exactly how YOU want it to be!